To begin again...

I started two blogs for family and I was just about the only contributor. I hesitated to be too open in that forum, not knowing who cousins would have reading their updates and I didn't want to shock their sensibilities with my posts. I've taken this up; hope to continue it; hope to open myself up some - difficult for me; and hope I don't overly embarrass my children - something they think I stay awake nights plotting to do.
My three addictions I'll admit to are knitting, reading, and chocolate. My current goal is to find enough books on CD at the library to make it worth my while to adjust to the much slower pace of being read to so I can knit and "read" at the same time. A cup of hot chocolate or a chocolate oatmeal cookie has never interfered with knitting. You always have to adjust at the end of a row. When I'm reading I'm not aware of eating or drinking; I'm always surprised to find an empty plate or cup when I reach for the next "hit."
My mother died two months ago. We shared all three addictions. I have lost one of the few people who truly understood why I am not a housekeeper in any sense of the word. She did a great job keeping the reading and knitting in check so she didn't neglect to cook or clean or do for others. I'm not there yet.
I have an unwritten but still firm agreement with a friend. If either of us becomes suddenly incapacitated, the other will go clean house before anyone else is allowed inside. She has a couple of other friends who will be helping me. I'm not sure she realizes she's on her own here.
A recent disappointment has caused me to begin this blog rather than dwelling on the "could have beens." I was born in a town where the natives were the only truly accepted people. I didn't understand it then. I still don't understand it, but I live in a town like that now. I believe it had a small part in my current disappointment. I certainly don't think that was all of it, but I do believe small town politics affect more than the election of the dog catcher. Having said that, I'm going to strive to move on. God has more in store for me than I had planned. He's done pretty good in the past, so I'm going to try to stay as positive and as out of the way as I can so He can do what is best for me.
I truly believe that. I also think if you believe in angels, you must conversly believe in demons. Which leads me to another belief. I believe Satan sometimes works to our disadvantage in causing us to be disappointed in love, career, family issues, church, politics, you name it. I believe it all works out for those who love God, but Job wasn't the only life the Devil stirred up. How can you firmly believe in the all Good working for you if you do not believe in the all Bad working against you?
Am I using that belief to get me through this current crisis of confidence? You bet. It wasn't me being rejected. It was Satan doing a number on me. Works for now.